11 Things I Learned (and relearned) in 2018
It’s the end of the year and I’ve decided to do a review inspired by my dear husband David McQueen.
2018 has been a lot of things and I’ve had some great experiences with great people. I’ve also worked with some fantastic companies like Grey London, Sopra Steria, O2’s Women’s Network, Havas, Go Cardless and Catalina to name a few. I introduced Steve Wozniak (co-founder of Apple Inc) on to stage at the phenomenal WeAreDevelopers conference and had much fun.
I’ve also worked on myself and gained some new resources like the Emotional Capitalist Report, CBT for coaches, Team Coaching and more.
I updated my branding with the amazing Vine Creatives and the awesome Nene Parsotam, my photos with the fab Ernest Simons and recreated my website with Relativist.Space with the ever knowledgeable Dasha Malogina. I’ve started my marketing with Prisca Moyesa who is the Queen of Social Media and have been bolstered up by my Virtual Assistant Lisa Haftel at Time Ect.
I’ve been fortunate enough to travel to Vienna, Paris, California and Morocco. It has been a fab year for me in many respects.
I’m set and ready to go for 2019.
So, what have I learned?
1. Giving has boundaries. People like to take, take and take some more and most of those people will give nothing back in return. There is nothing wrong with giving I’m a natural giver, I cannot help it, it’s the mother earth in me, but it’s not healthy to give until you are empty. You have to put boundaries in place otherwise you’ll end up giving to your detriment.
2. I don’t know everything. I say this with my chest held high. And you know what? I don’t want to know everything. I’m happy to sit at the feet of those who know more than me or different to me. That’s how one learns! It’s absolutely OK not to know everything and yet stand in what you do know.
3. Letting go is necessary. Whether it’s people, thoughts or things there comes a time when you have to let go. I’ve let go of all three this year. Anything and anyone that’s not building me up and helping me to be my best has to go. That includes energy vampires, broken things and thoughts that don’t serve anyone least of all me.
4. It’s always about choice. Walking through M&S one evening a few weeks ago on the hunt for mince pies and a bottle of wine because I was fed up, I had an epiphany – It’s my choices that impact my outcomes. Don’t get me wrong, I know this on a cerebral level, but it hit me in my gut. My weight, my business, my finances, my everything. Everything that I am experiencing is down to my choices… I recognised that I needed to make some different choices in certain areas.
5. Playing small serves no one – least of all myself! I recognised all the ways I’ve been playing small especially in business. This came off the back of my choice’s epiphany. I can’t make the difference I want to see in my world if I play small.
6. Fear has no place here. I’m grateful to my mentor Philip De Lisle for this one because he showed me and provided me with a poem to remind me that fear has no place in my life. It’s a smoke screen that I just need to walk through as I go on my journey to success.
7. “I don’t care enough” has its uses. David has been using this phrase for a while and I wasn’t quite able to get with it until the last quarter of this year. We spent too much time caring about things and people that don’t honour us. There are some things that we shouldn’t care so much about because they are not for us and we’re wasting precious energy on them. Which leads me to…
8. Not my circus, not my monkey – The gift that keeps on giving! This, definitely, links to “I don’t care enough!” This year I’ve recognised that rescuing people who don’t want to be rescued, never asked to be rescued and quite frankly are happy where they are is a wasted exercise, that creates more problems than solves. I’ve used this phrase with clients and family alike. We get caught up in other people’s drama, try to solve things that frankly don’t concern us and twist ourselves into knots on the behalf of other people who care not one jot about what we are doing. It’s a great phrase use to stop gossiping too, when people come to you with other people’s business, say this phrase.
9. Go scream. I’m loud and I’m proud of my big voice and bellowing laugh, I love to laugh but, in all honesty, I take on a lot and I’m responsible for a lot. So, much of my life has been about holding it and everyone together. I got some great advice this year, again from Philip, to go find a place and scream. I did this to everyone’s surprise in the sea at Agadir, Morocco every time the waves pounded me, and it was one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done. Sometimes you don’t need to hold silence, sometimes you need to go and scream.
10. You’ve already got what it takes. Yep, you have! This doesn’t mean that there isn’t work to do on yourself but the second guessing keeps you stuck so do you, step into what you already have and rock it like it’s hot! I’ve loved the coaching, training and hosting that I’ve done this year. I’ve loved being on other people’s podcasts and panels. I’m rocking it like it’s hot!
11. Mistakes are inevitable, it’s not that deep. We’re so hard on ourselves picking apart everything that we do and then wondering what other people think about us. Truth is most people aren’t thinking about us they are thinking about what other people think about them and pulling themselves apart. It’s not that deep! To err is human and since you’re human it’s inevitable that you’re going to make mistakes. So, suck it up and enjoy the learning.
Gosh I didn’t think that I’d make it to 10 furthermore 11 and I know that there is more. The one thing I learn over and over again is that life is for the living, it’s a journey that we just need to continue walking on and learning along the way. So, this New Year and every year after that I have the privilege to experience, I’ll aim to be my best.
See you on the journey and Happy New Year!