For much of January and especially in the last week I have been sick, really sick with a flu bug that has put me on my back for days. In fact, looking at the 15 months I recognise that this pattern of sickness has been going on for some time. Every few weeks I’ve had some illness or another. Much of it is stress related, my Mum died last and the shock waves that come with such a colossal loss can seem endless. I’ve had shifts in my business, shifts in my relationships and lots of different things going on. It’s not surprising that I’m experiencing the effects of all of this in my health.
The level of frustration that coming with being sick is great, it means that all the things that I plan to do and want to do keep getting put on pause. Every two steps forward results in another two steps backwards and it feels like I’m going nowhere… slowly! (That makes me chuckle)
Yet, amidst all of this, I’m, actually, gaining. With time in bed, time not working, time not busying myself around the house, I’m getting time to think, time to consider what I want and how I want it. Time to consider what is best for me and best for my health. I’m also getting time to consider how I want to positively impact my world and the people in it. This time of being ill is also affecting my activism and my willingness to do more than just talking about the injustices in this world. This time is giving me time to truly contemplate life.
It’s easy to complain about the cards that you have been dealt. Easy, yet still, to focus on the misery that can plague your life. But you have a choice. I say choose joy.
Whilst I’ve been sick I’m still able to communicate, still able to engage with my gorgeous family and supportive friends. Still able to plan and think about my future and how I do life on my terms. Still able to write a blog, such as this one, and to be vocal about the injustice I see in this world.
This life is for the living, so if you have breath regardless of what you are going through… live it. Choose joy.