Let’s be honest, some of the narratives that are guiding us are not our own.
It might be your mothers or fathers, teacher, a friend or ex-boss. It could be just about anyones…
When we understand who’s voice we are hearing, then we can start to reframe the use of that voice and how it affects us.
Who’s voice is in your head? Is a question that I ask my coaching clients. Many of them who may not have considered this before can clearly tell me whose voice it is, what it is saying and the expectations that the voice has on them and their lives.
Sometimes the voice is driving them so hard that they can’t stop doing. Other times it’s so negative that they can’t stop questioning if they are good enough.
Often the narrative that they live their lives by is driving them so hard that they can’t take a moment to breathe. It’s often negatively impacting their view of their world and, worse of all, themselves.
These voices are usually from people in their lives sometimes, these people are long gone but, their voice is still ringing true to the client today. What is the voice saying?
- You’re not good enough
- You need to work harder
- You’re stupid
- You have to be twice as smart
- Everything should be perfect
- You are a mess
- You get things wrong all the time
- You’re too big and sloppy
- You’re too thin and weak
- You’re too slow
- You’re too fast
- You’re too clever for your own good.
These words hold us back, keep us playing small or push us so hard that we do not understand what our own wants and desires are. We are not operating based on our own terms but on the terms and expectations of others.
These words create stories that we have carried with us for years; they impact our actions, our relationships and even our dreams for ourselves.
When you are not taking the time out to work on yourself, you may not even recognise that the voice that you are listening to, that is driving you, isn’t even yours.
This is why working on your self-development is so important. We have been conditioned throughout our lives to operate the way others do. That might be our parents or siblings, significant others or peers. Whoever, our own inherent thought process has been hacked by someone else.
I work with clients who have operated on someone else’s terms for decades of their life, who are only now recognising that the trajectory that they have been on was not their own. They’ve had enough; maybe you have too.
Maybe it’s time to put that other voice in its rightful place and stop giving it free rental space in your head.
It’s time to explore your own voice and work out what you really want to say to yourself.
It’s time to thrive without other people’s expectations on you determining what you do and don’t do.
Introducing you to you is a wonderful thing.
You start to realise that you don’t like things you have held fast and true to. That what you are doing is not at all what you like or even have an interest in.
As you start to cultivate your own voice, it becomes easier to crowd out the voices that are not yours.
You see your opportunities and wishes in new terms, new potential, new ways of living and being.
My wish for you is that you start to create space for you to cultivate and hear your own voice.
That you start to drown out and evict the voices that have helped you captive and taken up so much space for so long.
That you learn to trust your own instincts and that your thoughts and views are enough.
I want you to start scaring yourself with the dreams that you allow yourself to voice.
Your voice is just that… yours.
It’s should never be anyone else’s.
Live your life on your terms, let go of the squatter voices in your head.
Comments (0)